Monday, December 13, 2010

You is I. We are not equal.

"I don’t believe in equality of sexes. I can’t stand the idea of respect between lovers. I find the concept of roles disgusting. There is no democracy, negotiation, exchange of goods, compromise, middle way, balance of interests, symbiosis in the core encounter between a man and a woman in love. There shouldn’t be.

I believe in two movements: surrender and overtaking. Keywords: pervading, self-canceling, taking over, submitting, vibrating, shaking, freezing and burning at the center of gravitational pull that makes you a victim and a victor at the same time. You’re always less and always more, unable to locate, name and discuss what is that force that fuse you to a particular other in a way that surpasses any practical and reasonable goal. It’s self-destructive, suicidal, it’s makes you alive and builds a frame in which you know you’re eternal. In which you can die without a second thought.

Erase this dimension and you end up in a comfortable cohabitation, where lovers become roommates, where impossible becomes nice, where danger becomes comfort, where vision becomes conversation, where ecstasy becomes exchange, where drive becomes compatibility.

‘You is I’ is about merciless eradication of oneself, of the other. Doesn’t really matter. It’s the identity where one always loses to the other. Where one’s ground and desire exists completely in the way the other moves. Where both are enslaved to the memory and the promise of the otherworldly touch. Like in Eucharist where god is chewed, sucked and swallowed. Where teeth and tongue meet a shot of grace. It’s the blindness that’s clairvoyant, the loneliness that is fused, the loss that feels like being finally found. Even if your next church will be psychiatric ward.

What can you do with such a starting point? Maybe all, maybe nothing. But surely nothing in between. Can you build on it? Doesn’t matter. Practically, it can be heaven or hell. Probably both. But you can definitely – Be. And become. Keeping yourself on the sharp cutting edge, in the eye of the storm, in the reality which doesn’t give you time-out to check what’s in the fridge or in the news. There is no prior place. It’s the zero point to which everything else collapses, and without which everything else becomes exactly that: ‘everything else’."

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